Monday Funny

[Bertramp]

The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning. I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some a**hole using my stuff."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another a**hole?"


Nuff Said

[Mikey]

Bet you damned near choked on your eggs.

[Harry Babb]

UHMMMMMMMMM............that is funny.......sounds like something Jo Ann would say.......and she thought it is funnier than I did.


hb

[AndreF]

Harry- here's a funny story about one of your neighbors:

MOBILE, Alabama -- Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Alabama, wanted to set a record. One of Mobile’s signature seafood eateries wanted a public endorsement of the post-oil spill safety of its product.
So on Saturday afternoon, Orndoff plopped down on a barstool at the Wintzell’s Oyster House downtown with a team of oyster-shuckers in front of him and a dozen or so friends behind him.
The rules were clear. Orndoff had to eat 403 raw oysters in an hour — and keep them down — to break the restaurant’s 7-year-old mark.
If he did it, Wintzell’s would pay for his meal, give him $25 and put his name on the wall. If he failed, he had to foot his own bill.
A new record this summer would be a bit more costly to the eatery. Wholesale oyster prices are triple the cost of last year, general manager Bob Omainsky said...
...Half an hour gone, Orndoff stuck Nos. 398 and 399 on his fork and swallowed. He speared No. 400. The crowd bubbled with excitement.
That’s when Orndoff vomited.
It started slow at first, just a tiny stream coming through his fingers. But he couldn’t hold it in, retching a violent gray-brown river into a trash can next to his feet.
He cursed, slapped the trash can. The crowd groaned.
"So close!” one woman shouted.
Then Orndoff pointed to the trash can, looked at a shucker and asked: “If I eat these in here, can I keep going?”
Donlon nodded her head.
Orndoff filled his cup with what had once filled his belly, and guzzled the regurgitated bivalves.
He quit after another 22 fresh ones, ending at 421 oysters.
Orndoff kissed his wife, accepted the $25 check, then pondered the moment.
“I’m full,” he said. “I’ve never been this full. I actually want to go throw up again.”

[IRGuy]

I guess they grow REAL MEN in Alabama!

[Bertramp]

now THAT'S a chum slick !!

[Harry Babb]

Andre'
For the life of me I cannot think of one thing to say about the story that you published.......lost for words.....

And I can usually come up with some smart ass thing to say.......
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Its now 5 minutes later and still nothing.........I give up

LOL.........did the guy have a full set of teeth????


hb

[Rawleigh]

As my 8 year old stepson would say " That is just NASTY..."!!

[Mikey]

Harry,
Reminds me of the old West (by God) Virginia compliment that is guaranteed to get you laid,

Nice Tooth!