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Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 3rd, '13, 20:58
by bob lico
I reported to land sea and air medical facility to take complete medical/ drug exam for renewing my 100 ton coast guard license. They even take BMi ( body mass index) .ok so I report to nurse for drug exam and much to my surprise the young nurse hands me container and them FOLLOWS me to men's room and stands next to me as I urinate into specimen cup! Naturally I ask her if she can hold it for me (that will cost you extra) I guess she hears this often.young nurse maybe 25 or so in this just in NY the way the smart asses whom carry A specimen vial in there underwear get one over on the Feds or is this all over?

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 3rd, '13, 21:00
by Tony Meola
Bob

I work in HR. We drug test all new hires. That is a new one.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 3rd, '13, 21:29
by bob lico
A superior in NYPD tells me they always have a uniform male cop beside you when you take a random alcohol/ drug test but the airline pilots O tolerance for 48 hours prior to flying really made the people giving the test really eliminate any cheating.now they take a hair sample for steroids and "legal" proscribed drugs. New 100 ton license is 5 years instead of 4 ,carry it like a passport.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 4th, '13, 06:05
by MarkS
Bob, we're all dying here! Did you pay the extra?! :)

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 4th, '13, 07:50
by bob lico
Mark that's SOP. Here in ny .she went in the bathroom with every merchant marine captain test while I was there. The question is what if it was a female captain and and male nurse?

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 4th, '13, 08:01
by captbone
The Land, Air and Sea on 109 in North Lindenhurst is normally very lax so maybe she was giving you special treatment. ;)

My 100 ton has always been a 5 year renewal. The new passport books are different but luckily you can print out your certificate off their website. Not the same quality but better then nothing.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 4th, '13, 08:08
by Bruce
My guess that was a tranny nurse. Did you get a wink and a nod afterwards?

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 4th, '13, 22:30
by Tony Meola
Bob

By rights it should not have been a female nurse. big no no. Lawsuit waiting to happen.

Hair sample shows drug use for up to 6 months. The most fool proof method.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 5th, '13, 06:33
by bob lico
I through so I figured a doctor could but not a nurse.for so hospital exams they they have a doctor examine you witha nurse present like urology.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 5th, '13, 15:00
by Rawleigh
Wait till she wants to check your prostate!!!!

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 5th, '13, 21:08
by Tony Meola
Rawleigh wrote:Wait till she wants to check your prostate!!!!
Bob will go back daily for that one.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 5th, '13, 21:41
by MarkS
This reminds me of a joke but I know how religious you guys are........

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 6th, '13, 12:00
by Navatech
MarkS wrote:This reminds me of a joke but I know how religious you guys are........
Feel free to PM me the joke...

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 6th, '13, 13:50
by bob lico
No joke mark ,a long time ago I played lacrosse in high school and a free ball landed ( like a fumble in football) after the pile up I ended up with a cleat deep into my toe . Now I am in the hospital like a ward with some guy in his twenties directly across the isle.around 12 pm or so a nurse comes in the ward walks over and puts her hand under the sheet and gives this guy a hand job-------- wow I was so excited assuming I was next! Nice hospital policy . Just another set back in life.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 6th, '13, 14:09
by MarkS
Of course Bob you told her to go wash her hands and make you a sandwich?

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 6th, '13, 14:23
by bob lico
Hah just a learning experience for a snot nose kid in a adult world for the moment quite differant then today's computer world.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 6th, '13, 14:34
by PeterPalmieri
That reminds me Bob -

I was in High School and was dating a girl a year older then me who was out of my league beautiful and thought to be a bit wild. Before we could go on a real date (keeping it PG) I got sick and ended up in the hospital, they didn't know what was wrong with me. I needed a colonoscopy and an enema, the nurse sensing I was nervous was asking me lots of questions in a effort to calm my nerves. A little laughing gas combined with an assumed six degrees of seperation I told the nurse everything about this new girlfriend.

After pouring hot wax up my rear followed by 20' of plastic hose she went and spoke with the doctors, she came back to me and said I have good news you have salmonella, I really didn't think that was good news but I guess I wasn't going to die. Then with a smile she said I have bad news, your girlfriend, I used to babysit for her, she lives across the street.

When I went back to school she had a new boyfriend and I wouldn't look her in the eye. To add insult to injury, the night before I got sick I had started a job in a local pizza place, the Doctor reported them to the health department and found they did have bad chicken. No job, no girlfriend and I wasn't welcome in the local pizza place.

Re: Quite a surprise

Posted: Sep 8th, '13, 23:24
by Tony Meola
Peter

Look on the bright side, with her being a year older, whe will not be at your high School re-union, so you will not have to explain who she is to your wife. Bad news is, at the nest rendevous, hope no one tells your wife.