bertram31.com

President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, "Good
morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"?

Cashier:

"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?

Obama:

"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any
need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the President of the United States."

Cashier:

"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the Government regulations,
monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc., I must
insist on seeing ID."

Obama:

"Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you.
Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier:

"I am sorry, but these are government and bank rules and I must follow
them."

Obama:

"I am urging you please to cash this check."

Cashier:

"Look, this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank
without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and
made a beautiful shot across the bank lobby into a cup. With that shot we
knew him to be Tiger Woods and we cashed his check."

"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis
racquet and served an ace shot directly into the center of our bank logo 90
feet away. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check. So, what can you
do to prove that it is you, and only you?"

Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says:

"Honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can't think of a single thing I can do."

Cashier:

"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"

The Ranch Hand

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very
little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch
hand.


Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.


She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire
the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.


He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot
about ranching.


For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really
good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up
your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.


One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.


Two o'clock and no hired hand.


Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.


She quietly called him over to her..


"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.


Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."


He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my socks."


He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.


"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire
light.


"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as
he was told and dropped it to the floor.


Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again,
you're fired."

Both of those cracked me up!!

Good one Bruce.....

Jo Ann laughed outloud.....

hb

Harry, Love the ones that sneak up and kick you in the slats.