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Well, Faithful, the #1 LSU Tigers visit the #2 Alabama Dickweeds this weekend in what should prove to be an epic showdown of Souhern powerhouse football. The bookies have established the 'Weeds as a 5 pt. favorite, apparently based on rumors that Nikky "The Traitor" Sabin, the highly paid, but dumb as a post coach of the 'Weeds, is planning some trick plays involving the use of invisible footballs. Sabin denies these allegations, and further denies he's planning to take the head coaching job at Boise State following his team's 62-0 loss to LSU, and a similar drubbing at the hands of Auburn.

LSU's Felonious Foursome, now downgraded to the Mere Misdemeanor Mob through the magic of a grand jury of fans, plans to play with their electronic tracking ankle bracelets in the "haul ass" position and their parole officers cheering them on. LSU coach Les "The Hat" Miles promises a clean game and has instructed his players to use Handi-Wipes before poking the unsuspecting 'Weeds in the eyes.

This is The Lock Of The Week.

UV

Vic......you sure seem confident that the purple team is gonna kick the red teams ass......

Care to make a wager??????

LSloosers win I buy lunch on my next trip thru coonassville.......Sick Nabin wins you buy lunch.....

You up to it my friend???

LOL

hb

Should be a good game. Bama looks strong up front on D, but can that offense produce?

LSU has a heck of a defense as well. If they shut down TRichardson, Bama is left with one dimension, and its not one they have excelled at to date.

But, they are at Bama, so the LSU players will not have access to their regular drug dealers and "fake" weed suppliers. Plus, most of the LSU baby momma's will be miles away so the team will be distracted by their efforts to create a 40 to 60 more unwed mothers, even if it is just hoes from Bama.

Taking all these factors into consideration, I'm thinking Bama 23-17.

Harry you should wager a few of those mint juleps you found so tasty..one per score, winner is the guy standing and holdin down his lunch...Roll Tide..#1 fan from way up north...BH

That's an excellent idea Bob.....but Vic being retired and on a "Fixed Income" I don't want to make it to rough on him......(wink:wink)

hb

Hey Harry - you are on, let's make it lunch AND mint juleps. Ernest, your learned analysis is slightly off the mark. We be'z sendin' two extra busses, one with ho's and the other with dope. LSU is gonna wear them down in the 4th quarter and take it by two scores.

And Harry, I thought you went to Auburn?

UV

Vic wrote:And Harry, I thought you went to Auburn?

Yupp Vic, I did go to Auburn.

I will pull for Alabama except for one game a year....

Not being much of a sports fan, I have been accused of being like one of those black things in a washing machine.......called an agitator...LOL

One year when Bama actually won the Iron Bowl my river neighbor hung a sign on his mail box that read:

Culture-- 14
Agriculture--10


Do you remember when Auburn played LSU in the Jordan Hare stadium and a building burned to the ground just outside of the stadium?? Fire caused by an unattended grill....

hb

I do remember the fire, seem like it was the basketball gym and remember the tv announcers having to move 'cause the heat was so bad. Made for a nice backdrop. Don't remember who won.

To show how big a deal the game is here, Baton Rouge's Catholic High moved its Homecoming Dance from 7 pm to 3 pm so people could watch the game on tv.....now that's hard core.

UV

That is hardcore......around here the streets get deathly quiet....no traffic at all.....except for the sports bars all of the restruants are empty......and there are many many parties on the boat houses along the river.

I was told that the building that burned at the Auburn LSU game was actually a building that was taken down and moved from LSU to the Auburn campus.....you know anything about that????


1996.....Auburn 31 LSU 28.......ain't Google just grand! ! !


hb

My recollection of the Auburn campus is any discarded LSU building would improve the place.

Gone to the camp - having a football party there tomorrow night, anyone in the neighborhood stop by - garlic stuffed boston butt pork roast.

UV
cell:: 225 937 1319

Go Bama..still one of the top programs out there.

23-17..yep there's a winner there.

Vic.. I wish we lived closer together i would take you up on that bet. I could offer you a Care package from the Aloha State for?.

Aloha,

A serious, unbiased and realistic look at how LSU and Alabama match up




Quarterback - LSU has Jarrett Lee and Jordan Jefferson, Alabama has AJ McCarron. Lee is smarter than McCarron and better looking. Jefferson is stronger and while he should not have been in a bar fight, much overlooked is the fact he won the fight. McCarron's judgment has to be in question with the tattoo of Jesus and his "bama boy" nickname that covers his whole chest. Note to self - if I get drunk and want a tattoo go for small sailboat on ankle instead of religious mural on chest. Note to McCarron - Jesus does not like Alabama football, if he did would he let the spawn of satan be their coach? Advantage - LSU

Running back - Alabama has a freight train Heisman favorite in Trent Richardson. LSU is deeper than the Marianas trench at running back with Ware, Blue, Ford, Hilliard and McGee. LSU has student trainers who could start at running back for most schools. Advantage - LSU

Wide receiver - Alabama has the alliterative Marquis Maze and LSU has the equally alliterative Reuben Randle. Both receivers run really rad routes. LSU has Russell Shepherd and Odell Beckham Jr in their three receiver set. I don't know who else Alabama has and am too lazy to look it up. Miles has offered Odell Beckham III a scholarship and he hasn't even been born yet. Advantage - LSU

Offensive line - Alabama has NFL first round draft pick to be Barrett Jones at one tackle and probable future NFL tackle DJ Fluker at the other. Fluker is no fluke. LSU has T-Bob who grew up playing catch with his dad while facing the other way. LSU and Alabama have more road graders on their respective offensive lines than a John Deere dealership. Alabama's starting line weights a combined 1524 pounds, LSU's weighs 1525. Advantage - LSU (by one pound)

Defensive line - How fast is Barkevious Mingo? He missed the bus to the Mississippi State game, ran to Starkville and got there first. The Justice League of America put the Flash on waivers and offered Mingo. The Fantastic Four has talked to Miles about trading the Thing for the Freak. Advantage - LSU

Linebacker - Three of the four Alabama linebackers will probably be NFL first rounders, Donta Hightower, Nico Johnson and Courtney Upshaw. It is hard to say if any of the LSU linebackers will get drafted and two of them are converted safeties and they are still the fourth ranked defense in the country. You still have to love Miles' personnel moves. Advantage - slight LSU

Defensive backs - Both teams have NFL probable first round picks everywhere in their starting secondary. Bama has Barron and Kirkpatrick, LSU Claiborne and Mathieu. The difference is LSU has NFL bound nickel and dime backs who could or probably will, play LB. Advantage - LSU

Cheergirls - Alabama has the Crimsonettes and LSU the Golden Girls. I am no big fan of Alabama to be sure, but like all southern states they have hot women. The difference is that the Crimsonettes are baton twirlers and are chosen based on their timing and coordination meaning looks is but one factor. Golden Girls are chosen solely on hotness which is the only talent required for the job. Does anyone really care that they cannot twirl? Advantage - LSU

Bands - Alabama has the million dollar band which I guess was a big deal fifty years ago. Half the coon asses going to this game from Louisiana will be driving custom made buses worth more than a million. LSU's band plays "neck" and "get crunk". Advantage - LSU

Coaches - LSU has a really good coach who is cool and says all kinds of whacked out stuff no one can understand. Alabama has a really good coach who is a dick. Advantage - LSU

Prediction: Miles goes for two with time expired for a 22-21 win.

Do you actually write sports comedy for a living? That is better stuff than any columnist in any paper, of course after reading your post I had to wipe the coffee that shot out of my nose off of my computer. Thanks

Good game Vic.....lunch and juleps on me.....

The best match of teams I have seen in a long time.


hb

"Do you actually write sports comedy for a living? "


Nah.. Just cut and paste......... But I' m even funnier when I'm drinking and LSU is winning...

Kinda like last night. ;-)

Geaux Tigers


Ray

Ray wrote:But I' m even funnier when I'm drinking and LSU is winning...

Ray.....If I understand it correctly.....you got to drink for a couple of hours last night but only got to be "Funnier" for about 3 seconds!!!...LOL


hb

Thanks Harry. Y'all missed one helluva party at the camp last night. Ray, you nailed it. Care package from HI? Let's trade 'em, Coonass Care Packages I can do.

The teams were well matched up eccept for one area. If I were in the Alabama administration, I'd demand Little Nikky give most of his outragous salary back. I could have lost that game for a lot less. You don't play big time college football with place kickers that look like crippled homeless people. Nick should have known better, but guess the good news is he ain't coaching here no mo'.

I suspect Les is due a raise.....

UV

Vic, I jumped back and forth from LSU/Bama, Ark/SC and the Oklahoma State/K-State games, so I got to see lots of scoring Saturdasy night. Why do they call Les "the hat", other than I never see him without one on?

Tommy - that white LSU ball cap he always wears is sorta custom, taller than most......think one of the local sportswriters gave him the nickname and it stuck. He's a class guy that does not take all this too seriously....of course, at a base paycheck of $3.8 million I'd be damn jolly too. Glad to see Bama only dropped to #3 and I'd have voted them #2.

UV

Vic, That was a great game...by both teams...Bama's coach nicky sure doesnt understand how to win a defensive battle...FIELD POSITION..LSUs punter kept the tide pinned down deep...50+ Yard Field Goal attempts..wishful thinking..enjoy the juileps with Harry Babb...BH

Yeah, that punter is from Australia and used to play their brand of football. He's been dropping punts dead inside the 10 all season and is a secret weapon. And how come Nikky let the clcok run out in regulation vs. throwing a hail mary? Like his much more competent predecessor, The Bear once siad, a tie is like kissing your sister.....

But I agree, one helluva ball game, and I almost punched the TV last night when some grosbeak talking head on ESPN was bitchin' about the game being boring. Huh, boing?

UV

Vic,
Sorry for the late post. Just salking. give me your address and I will send a care package out and please send Alabama a fricken field goal,short or long kicker please.

Great game.
Aloha, Bobby

Thanks, Bobby....Vic Roy, 3131 Murphy Dr. Baton Rouge, LA 70809....see, I even have TWO 31s in my address....make sure you include a return address so I can recipricate.

Me & Andre' had lunch today with Lyman the G-Man who's son is a place kicker in high school here and looks like he may be pretty good.....I'm acting as his agent....tell L'll Nikky to give me a buzz and bring his checkbook.

Nikky must have hijacked the LSU dope bus....dumbest coaching I've seen since the last time Joe Paterno woke up from a nap.

UV

joe's got bigger problems than nap time.

congrats on the win!!.....personally....i like defense (ex pitcher mentality)

Daniel Moore, an artist nationally known for capturing great moments in sports history, particularly Bama football, has done a painting to immortalize the 2011 Bama LSU game.
I am amazed at how quickly he was able to get this done!

Vic..finally got some time to get your package together. Done and in the mail.

Let me know what you like and dont like and i will refurbish. Enjoy it with family,grandkids and friends.

Aloha, Bobby