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It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.


Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.


Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'


'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.


So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.


A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'


'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'


The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.


Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'


'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'


'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied,'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'

Very funny.

I think I posted this before but it's quality and deserves a second run!
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Morris the Suit Salesman

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, Morris, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" Morris said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked."

"That's the one!" said the clerk.

"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," Morris replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me

Guy went in Taylor Shop , got fitted for a suit. Came to try it on when finished, one pant leg too short, left sleeve too long, right shoulder too narrow. Taylor says "my my, but, if you crook your arm , bend your leg and cock your body just so it fits great and I'll knock off 75%". The guy takes it and walks down the street, all the way practicing his crooked arm, bent leg and cocked body. Two old ladies walking across the street looked at him one said "look at that poor crippled man", the other said "yes, but doesn't his suit fit him well!".
You reminded me Mark.