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Fred and Larry get married in California. They couldn't afford a honeymoon. So, they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together.



In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.



As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Larry are up yet.



She replies, 'No'.



Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'



His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'



Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom,
'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'



She replies, 'No.'



Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'


His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '



After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'



His mom says, 'No.'



He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'


His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'



He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think... I gave him my airplane glue.

Priest and a Rabbi

A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork? �
The Rabbi responded, Yes, that is still one of our laws. �
The Priest then asked, Have you ever eaten pork?

To which the Rabbi replied, Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich. �
The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate? �

The Priest replied, Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith. �
The Rabbi then asked him, Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?
The Priest replied, Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my vow. �

The Rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.
Finally, the Rabbi said, Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?