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Just had to laugh! ! !
Posted: Nov 5th, '09, 12:57
by Harry Babb
I've had a really crappy week.....today a friend sent this joke to me and actually made me laugh.....first time this week......may be things are looking up.
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Irish Logic
So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which Murphy replies,
"Well, if they fell forward they'd still be in the f**kin' boat.
Posted: Nov 5th, '09, 14:00
by Carl
LOL..good one!
Posted: Nov 5th, '09, 15:22
by coolair
good one harry,
cheer up, week will be over soon enough!
Posted: Nov 5th, '09, 17:20
by MarkS
Facts are stubborn things!
Posted: Nov 5th, '09, 20:50
by scenarioL113
Sorry to hear about your crappy week. The joke made me laugh. Thanks!!!
Posted: Nov 10th, '09, 11:35
by Mikey
You gots to love the Irish.
Know why God created whiskey?
Keep the Irish from conquering the world.
It's worked so far.
Posted: Nov 11th, '09, 19:47
by Harry Babb
Thats funny Mikey
An Irish friend once told me that an Irishman is not considered drunk as long as he can lay in the middle of a field, hold on to a single blade of grass, and not slide off the face of the earth.
We tried it a couple of times.......
H
Posted: Nov 12th, '09, 16:13
by Mikey
Love Irish Joke! How about . . .
Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
Posted: Nov 19th, '09, 11:20
by John Swick
Obama the Muslim dies and finds himself before the pearly Gates.
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a Beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks .
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up'. And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds ..
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder In great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Jesus . . . You will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus? The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.
Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps. By now he is totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son. I am God. But you look exhausted . . . . . Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes, please, my Lord.'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
'Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!'
Posted: Nov 19th, '09, 13:23
by Mikey
Barak Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowns "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, your majesty?" The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Obama goes back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president, the same question. "Joe. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," says Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Biden asks Powell, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!" Biden smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"