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So my wife and son ganged up on me last weekend and told me to get my fat #$%^ to the Dr. for a physical.
I feel fine, but made an appointment and went this morning.
Long story short, I'm in good health, just fat .... whew
But the normal Dr. didn't do the exam, instead this VERY attractive nurse practitioner did the exam, probably 30 - 35 yrs old.
So after she had had her way with me and I was doing the "walk of shame" out of the office, I couldn't help but think that I would have had to buy her a condo to do to her what she just did to me !!
Damn ...... I feel so cheap and used :-)

Bertramp wrote:So my wife and son ganged up on me last weekend and told me to get my fat #$%^ to the Dr. for a physical.
I feel fine, but made an appointment and went this morning.
Long story short, I'm in good health, just fat .... whew
But the normal Dr. didn't do the exam, instead this VERY attractive nurse practitioner did the exam, probably 30 - 35 yrs old.
So after she had had her way with me and I was doing the "walk of shame" out of the office, I couldn't help but think that I would have had to buy her a condo to do to her what she just did to me !!
Damn ...... I feel so cheap and used :-)

Steve, you put a smile on my face. I have found memories of a similar situation. After getting cut out of my car (I was the featured attraction in a 5 car accident years ago), I was admitted to the hospital. Over the days I was in, various specialist came and went when one noted that I had not had a physical in 15 or so years. So, a stunning internal medicine resident -- a beautiful redhead - comes in and gives me my physical. While she has me on my side doing the prostate check, she asks -- seriously this was the timing and the question -- "are you sexually active?" My response, and yes I was on numerous pain meds at that point was 'Yes, but not like what you are doing to me right now."

She left the room neon red immediately. Twenty minutes a male resident came in to tell me that I was fine, she would not be back, was way to embarrassed to see me and that the other doctors explained to her that you never ask "are you sexually active" while you are either holding or penetrating."

True story, no embellishment!

Tom

Tom ..... VERY funny story !!

Steve

When I worked at a previous job, we had a doctor on staff and he would perform the annual physicals. One day the guy in the office next to me came back from having his physical and said you know, there was something strange with this one. I said and what was that, he said Ralph had both hands on my shoulders when he checked my prostrate.

I always had a one problem with the whole in house doctor physical thing, usually right after you were violated it was time for lunch and the good doctor would always join our table. I told the group one day, just not right that the Doc does that then joins us for lunch and then you have to look at him after what he just did to you.

Steve

Then there is this. Sorry could not post it, you have to click on the link.

http://www.thebassbarn.com/forum/12-dry ... there.html

About ten years ago I had a cancer scare.

I went to Memorial Sloan Kettering for my pre-surgical workup.

A Victorias Secret model who must have been moonlighting as a phlebotomist came in to draw some blood and take my blood pressure.

She said, Mr Ohlstein, I see that your blood pressure is a little high.

I said, Oh really? Do you find that to be common in men?

There are countless jokes on this topic.
I remember a Tony Soprano line "I dont even let anyone put their finger in my face!"
But all kidding aside brothers, it aint pleasant, but please go...

Bertramp wrote: But all kidding aside brothers, it aint pleasant, but please go...

You talked me into it!
...what office did you go to with that "VERY attractive nurse practitioner".

Huntington Medical Center ..... Pulaski Rd. Huntington

Is this the general idea?!...

Steve

Is that the former huntington hospital?

Back in the 80's they were s client of mine. Spent a lot of time out there.

Tony .... no, but it is about 1.5 miles down the road.
If you went to the hospital from the LIE or the Northern State Pkwy, you passed this street.

Steve this reminded me of a similar story regarding.........a friend of mine, ya thats it. Same situation except the office visit was regarding a testicular infection. Not pleasant when the scrotum swells to the size of a grapefruit. The Lovely female Dr. asks "are you sexually active? Yes very! How many partners do you have? None!

MarkS wrote:Steve this reminded me of a similar story regarding.........a friend of mine, ya thats it. Same situation except the office visit was regarding a testicular infection. Not pleasant when the scrotum swells to the size of a grapefruit. The Lovely female Dr. asks "are you sexually active? Yes very! How many partners do you have? None!

Hillarious !!1

Steve

Then I passed it. I also remember having lunch in a place just up the street on the water.

Always seemed to get stuck going out there on a Friday in the summer. If I was not out of there by 1:30 I would sit in traffic heading back to NJ.

Tony .... that was probably COCO's ... it was a dockside restaurant not far from there.

Steve

Yes I believe that was the name of the place. Brings back memories. Keep on thinking about taking a sunday drive out that way just to see what has changed over the years.

I could easily talk my wife into a ride to Hillsdale.
She was at 73 Baylor and backed the golf course.
Nice area.

two years ago i had to renew capt. lic.so i went air/land/sea clinic on rt.109 in lindenhurst long island for complete physical.normally filled with airline pilots and this being NY they trust no one. i have told this to others they said impossible but this is true. i figure the regular doctor hands you a cup and was prepare to go urinate in cup and bring it back .well the young,young doctor a kate hudson double follows me into head and stands next to me because of the pilots using someone else urine if they drank the night before or did weed and took anidote for urine test so as i have my pride and joy in my hand and just can`t pee ."are you having a problem" yes you gave me a hard on so i can`t pee . she did not blush i said i wish this was a sperm count!!!!!! " i will wait" apparently she had been there seen that.

I have a fantastic sex life...



I just wish I had someone to share it with!

Steve

One day we should meet half way for coffee, drink or what ever. Actually, should take a trip to the island and we do a lunch get together with Bob, Peter, Mike etc. Maybe we can drag Randall and Harv out of hiding. I have met Peter and Harv, and you know what, after the Holidays, a winter lunch with everyone would be fun.

Bob

Simple answer to cheating is a hair sample. Too many drugs out there to clear marijuana out of the system.

I used to be in charge of drug testing for my former employer, so I could tell you all the tricks. Hair is the only way it can not be beat, outside of blood. Yes, bald people always forget one thing, they have hair in other places.

tony i do not know the laws concerning medical privacy so i was taken by surprise. i guess this was a extreme case because the doctor was a female young and beeautiful however the airlines do spot checks all the time without notice and railroad conductors,ferry captains rarely.they all use urine test not sure about other public carriers.i don`t think i will take next captain`s renewal ,time to shelf it but that means Phoenix no longer will have federal head boat status.

Bob

What does Federal Status really do for you?

When it comes to drug testing, now with people sneaking stuff in, having someone watch is becoming more common and not at this time considered a privacy issue. I would think though, the lab would be smart and use same gender. I would have asked for it.

Hair is just more reliable. For immediate testing due to an accident, swab testing works real well. Swab the mouth, stick the swab in a meter and if it reads positive you tell them to pee in the bottle. If it reads negative, you send them back to work. Swabs by themselves don't hold up to charge or fire someone for drug use.

federal headboat status allows me to take bluefin 27" plus to a giant,permit for swordfish/shark and legally sell catch.

Ah! Now I understand. Not sure if selling commercially is really worth it anymore.

i can sell directly to restaurant /fish store what could i possibly do with a 225 pound mako shark? i release nine out of ten or sell for fuel cost my family does not eat shark or tuna so i give away entire fish with tuna i take small piece for myself and give away the rest after dressing ,fileting fish while dead tired ,best just call store and it is gone.

Be careful ,sounds like a lot of locker room talk,Hillary may get even

Every time I am asked if I am sexually active I respond with "does this count?"