bertram31.com

Had an armada of sailers come into the marina today all wanting slips for a stay over to hit the Bahamas.

After a while they started piling back into the office wanting to extend their stays after looking at the weather reports.

No deal as slips have already been reserved.

After many complaints one particularly disturbed sailer(is there any other kind?) remarked, "then where are we supposed to wait till the wind dies down"?

To which I replied" by the very definition of sailboat and sailor, doesn't that sorta defeat the purpose"?

"Here's your sign" I added and walked back over to the shop.

Hey Bruce,
Heard a couple of terms applied to the "sailors"
Wistle Pissers, the sound made by sailors as they pull up to the fuel dock after sitting outside of a marina on the hook for a couple of days and ask how much a gallon of fuel costs, a gallon of water costs, and then just dump their trash and leave without buying anything.

WAFI, Wind Assisted F@$%#&* Idiot

When Ernest and I ran "Lil' Bert" to Port Eads the first time, we stopepd in Intracoastal City, LA, to spend a night on the way back. The Shell Morgan fuel dock there has a few transiet spaces, free on a first come, first served basis. A sailbote from Port Aransas, TX was there. Small, shabby sailbote, funny guy and his wife and little dog. He kept going on and on about them letting us tie up for free - like he wasn't going to leave anytime soon for that price. When we tried to shower, found that the hot water was cut off in the womean's shower room - and it was locked. I suspect the little sailbote bastard locked it, so we wouldn't like the place so much we'd stay, also.

Mike,
Why didn't you tell the women to join you in the men's shower?

Andre...

I haven't met you...

but I like your style!

Andre, that might have made up for no hot water, but we didn't have any women with us, and we never saw the sailbote guy's wife - probably didn't want to.

Sailors can be 'interesting' for sure... But, hard for me to discount the whole bunch. I've met some really intellegent, resourceful sailors laid up all throughout the Bahamas. Of course, the further you get away from a five star hotel & marina, the better the chance they're the real deal...
Also can't forget that the boat this site is dedicated to owes it's existence to two diehard sailors....Ray Hunt & Richard Bertram

No doubt, blow boaters and power boaters will be crossing swords well into the future. I respect some of them. I recently read a book "Rounding the Horn" , these guys sailed around Cape Horn in a steel sailboat, the keel would retract upon striking rocks, retracing Darwin's enlightening journey. Good book, hell of a trip.
One time , 50 miles offshore , we were flagged down by a blow boat so we went over to him and ended up giving him directions and a chart. After we pulled away, one of my kids said: "that guy's chart looked like a restaurant placemat".
But then there was the guy who paddled from Maine to the mouth of the Mississippi in a kayak, I tried to pick him up but someone beat me to it. I wanted to meet that guy.
Blow boaters are comical and serve a useful purpose, as we all do (most all of us).
The ones who don't know who they are........

I talked a big sailboat into SW Pass of the Miss. River one stormy night between Christmas & New Years years ago. Still had the old Rat Houseboat down there and we were duck hunting. Sitting on my sofa talking to them, the USCG and the Bar Pilots on the VHF. The blowboaters (sounding sorta panic-ky) had no clue where they were. I got them to describe what they saw, and all they said was "lights all over". Well there are about 100 oil rigs right in there, all with a lot of lights. So I finally talked one of the pilot boats into going to the end of the jetties and flash his big spotlight out and they saw that and made it in. Now it's about 1 am and they are just inside SW Pass and want to come to where we are, Port Eads at South Pass. Short route is back out in the very rough Gulf and about 15 miles to the much worse entrance to South Pass, or the long way, 20 miles upstream in SW Pass, then down South Pass about 12 miles to Port Eads. They chose the long way. I hit the sack. Next morning we are heading out duck hunting in the fog, and by damn, I see a sailboat mast at the fuel dock.

Later we met the "crew".....Three older doctors from Houston and their much younger girlfriends and one pro sail guy they hired to take them from Houston to Key West. The pro told me he quit when they were off the mouth of the Miss. River and thanked me for helping him into port, and where could he catch a taxi cab to New Orleans.........Duhhhhh, boy, you 25 miles from a road and 100 miles from a taxicab......

They stayed a few days and when the weather broke sailed off for Key West. Heard later the girls jumped ship in the keys......Darwin missed another chance.

UV

Duhhhhh, boy, you 25 miles from a road and 100 miles from a taxicab......

Sounds like a movie I once saw with Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty.

Goats don't squeal do they?

i really like sailboats...spent many happy days on em...good way to travel long distances and always be home specially if you have almost no money (and of course its someone elses boat)

Thanks Randall... nice to know I am not alone here!

Since both Bruce and Randall have been to Port Eads and spent some time there, the taxi cab request "Duhhhhhhhh" is in context. Randal bunked in a box one year, with Ric as his bunkmate, but it was air conditioned, and as I recall, Randall outran the aligator on the dock....Those were the days, my friends, those were the days.....I was sifting thru a bunch of pix of the various UVIs and some way before that fair and balanced rules event was held, some of my son with a marlin in his hands....some of the Bride with a huge wahoo. All great stuff, but.....

In general tho, I think sailboats suck.

UV

UV i am honestly curious.....whats not to like about sail boats?.....blubliners and other clorox bottle boats ok....jet skiis...i see a point ....but let me tell you ..you at the wheel of a 50 foot yawl in a stiff breeze with a lot of sail up and all that force of nature is at your finger tips............very high on the feel good meter...like havin a large fish pullin .............................plus some of them are very pretty

It think I stayed in that box too after Mikey and I had to flee Painkiller, leaving poor Randall behind!! I have a friend who got off a tug at Venice about 1980 and somehow managed to miss the crew bus to NO. Apparently he thought he was going to be doing a Ned Beatty imitation before he got out of there!! Not a good place to miss the bus!!!

I agree with Randall. I appreciate good sailboats and good powerboats. I believe Ray Hunt designed the Concordia Yawl, one of the prettiest boats ever.

I happened upon one of the most successful artists in Australia yesterday, we were moored off his beach-house, he came over when I swam to shore and we chatted. His comment on our B31 "that is a very pretty boat".

He puts lots of sailboats on Sydney Harbour in his paintings (in the "naive-style", if you were wondering) but he can recognise a beautiful powerboat when he sees it.

There's plenty of dopey powerboat owners too, and even more who don't own any type of boat. Live and let live but don't lend 'em any tools.

Nic

When Linda & I lived in Oregon we gave up windsurfing for sailing. When looking for a boat we told a broker we needed a boat that could handle up to 30 knotts of wind ( it's real windy in the Columbia Gorge). His reply, your not supposed to be sailing in 30 knotts. We picked up a Santana 22 migit ocean racer and actually had it out in 40+ fully reefed and the old girl liked it.

We now have a Camper Nicholson 32, In England it's a cult boat like the B31. It survived 3 hurricanes and the Llyods of London rated hull is still floating waiting a repower. When sailing the Indian River behind the house
we would keep up with the dingies heading to weather much to their disbelif.

When I see blo boaters cruising the intercostal under power with a brisk east, south east wind when they should have the sheets up I slow down to max wake speed so the tee pot spills over on the stove.

Cheers
RussP

I'll come out of the closet - I swing both ways when it comes to boating. One funny thing about sailing is that it is amazing how you can have 8 or 9 type A competitive guys absolutely wound up trying eak out an extra quarter knot of speed while racing.

It is also strange how absolutely terrified you can be while travelling at only 10 knots, of course if your going 10, then it's probably blowing 30 and you are flying a great big spinnaker.

When cruising there is the fact that it is virtually silent and the motion is gentle enough that you hardly ever spill your drink. Lot's of good things about sailing as long as you have the time.

As I said in another string several months ago.. I am an ex sailor.. spent a good bit of time offshore.. several hundred miles out on many occasions.

I have seen sailboats acting as if they owned the channel, without proper regard to what problems they were causing for power boats. I have seen power boats leaving wakes that caused damage to sailboats both moving and at anchor.

There are inconsiderate idiots in sailboats.

There are inconsiderate idiots in power boats.

Neither has a clue as to how to conduct themselves in the presence of the other. Neither is blameless. Neither understands good seamanship.

If you want to bitch about either do it about the idiots, not about all of their group. Most of both are understanding and act appropriately in the presence of the others.. unfortunately, not all.

It is a big ocean.. there is room for everybody.

If you enjoy being out on the water, its good enough for me.

I enjoy the gentle ribbing we give to the Rag Merchants and Bubble-Boaters, but only to the extent I would rib a friend.

I can't see the reason we powerboaters can't slow down when passing a sailboat or pass them on the downwind side, I also can't see the reason a sailboat has to pass within feet from me when I'm fishing or they feel the need to hog the channel.