HO Ho Ho! ! ! Merry Christmas......and so the holidays begin

[Harry Babb]

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 1, 2012

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd,

starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and

plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along.

And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time;

however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.

This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty



Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 2, 2012

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty



Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees

DATE: October 3, 2012

RE: Holiday Party


Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: October 4, 2012

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!


Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F...... Employees

DATE: October 5, 2012

RE: The F****** Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your ****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you ****** wierdos can kiss my ass. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from Hell!!!

Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 6, 2012

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

[JH_B28]

LOL!!! That is some funny S*****!

[Bob H.]

HA HA HA...lose your mind trying to make everyone happy in todays all inclusive world...Ill stick to redneck christmas any day..slap a fresh venison tenderloin on the grill..BH

[Tony Meola]

Harry

Unfortunately, while the memo is a joke and pretty funny, what it says is not. Been there, it is pretty ugly and gets uglier every year.

No good deed goes unpunished.

[Carl]

Christmas Bonus will be given out at Christmas Party...can't make it, no problem it will go towards another round of drinks.



Being inclusive becomes exclusive...just leave it alone...nobody is asking you to worship, just go and have a good time, it's a Party for gods sake.



Wanna have a Chanukah party next...works for me, I'll bring the candles..
Kwanzaa Party to follow, already have the candles, I'll pick up some fruit too, just tell me where!
Ramadan Party...I may pass...but then again I do fast between every meal and love Ramen noodles...Hmm I'll give it a try, I'm in!

Atheist Party--Guess we'll just call it a Party, I'll be there!...or you don't believe in parties???


Satanic Party---sounds like a hell of a great Party, but I'll be dammed if I go.

[Harry Babb]

Christmas Bonus will be given out at Christmas Party...can't make it, no problem it will go towards another round of drinks

Several years ago we had a "Not so good year" and I overheard one of my employees make comment to the fact that she better be getting a "Christmas Bonus".

Well what I did that year was go borrow money and I paid decent bouns for the year.....we made paid the loan back that next year.....and the next year after that we were back in good shape.

From there I anounced that there was a misunderstanding in verbage around the shop an NEVER NEVER again in the futrue of B&S Machine Shop will anyone EVER EVER hear the words Christmas and Bonus used in the same sentence. Whatever you celebrate does not matter Christmas or Chanukah or Kwanzaa is just what it is.....a Celebration of ones religious beliefs....not to be condemed by others

And on the other hand a BONUS is just what it is.....pay or benefit or perk over and above agreed salary.....as a reward for doing good work over and above what is expected and enjoying a sucessful run........

I fail to see the connection between Spiritual Beliefs and Bonus.........

hb

[Rawleigh]

The only good thing this economy has done is to tone down the holiday bonus "entitlement" concept!

[John Swick]

I've learned alot from some very smart people.

Christmas bonus / Christmas gift.......same thing, and that's the way I treat it.
As such I use the same limit I have with my family siblings.
Real Christmas gifts are for the kids as far as I'm concerned.

That been said, we've got a pretty progressive employee incentive plan inplace and make sure that atleast part of it gets paid out before the Christmas holidays if applicable.
It's a win - win situation most of the time......hey that's reality .

[Uncle Markie]

WOW!!!

[Carl]

Harry,
My guess is someone stingy decided to give an earned bonus as a gift in an effort to reduce out of pocket cost.
As with any gift...in the wrong hands it becomes an entitlement.
Both parties lose the Spirit of Christmas with that pattern of thinking.


I'd rather bite my tongue and give the Christmas Gift/Bonus.
I do this as I Want to give to Some, but that comes with a penalty of having to give to others.
What is funny, the ones I want to give to are very appreciative and "get it" the others expect more (if I gave more it wouldn't be enough, if it was then next year it would have to be more)

My gifts are somewhat trivial amounts of money as I pay what a person is worth here, rather then take a % of weekly wage and give it back this time of year as their "bonus". If a job is done above and beyond...a $20 may find its way into a pocket, happens often, a raise is given.

Unfortunately....or fortunately Christmas has become more then just a Holiday of our personal beliefs. For me...I'll take the bit of Extra Joy and Good Will Towards Man that goes around...I am not too accepting of losing the holiday's roots.

[Harry Babb]

As I read all of the responses here I felt a bit of confusion.

So I went back and reread my original post.

I left out a piece of my own puzzle and that is that as a business owners, Chris and I do AWARD year end bonus's.....and that happens during the month of November. And the bouns is based on merit for performance and attendance and attitude and cooperativeness.

Beyond that.....we do share Christmas Gifts......

I have started dressing DeNada in her Christmas outfit......she will be the queen of the ball room on this coming Saturday night in the Fish River boat parade.

Will be posting pics

hb

[Tony Meola]

As I read all of the responses here I felt a bit of confusion.

So I went back and reread my original post.hb

Harry

It is a funny post. I think our response is due to the sign of the times. Unfortunately, 5 years ago we would have laughed. Today, the sad truth is, this is now the norm. It is no longer funny sorry to say.

[Harry Babb]

Just beginning to dress her up for the parade........







More to come......will put blue lights on the hull Friday.......and a few more decorations.

I understand that our little parade has 31 registered boats so far.

I have seen as few as 3 boats in this parade. We are expecting good weather Saturday night......tempt in the mid 50's

hb

[JH_B28]

Very nice harry! She's going to put on a show at your parade.

We also had a Xmas boat parade at the bay last weekend.

Heres a pic from last year:




The one in the left with the xmas trees in the bow is my bosses 77 Hatt. :0

[Tony Meola]

Harry

Looks good. Does the family help out or are you left on your own to decorate her?

[Harry Babb]

Last Sunday Jo Ann and a friend and one of my brothers helped me for about 5 hours. Have not had a chance to touch her this week but tomorrow PM I will get back to it and once again Jo Ann will help me.

My daughter and my son (Funnerwat) are busy decorating their own boats for the parade.

Should finish up with the lights early Saturday morning......then it's on to the music.

Many of the Fish River residents plan their Christmas parties around the parade......so a lot of folks really look forward to the event.

We will be wrapping the Green Lights with mosquito netting.......that difusses the light and makes it look like a green glow instead of a group of lights.

Funnerwat is doing the same sort of thing to his Ski Nautique......his will look like a giant Santa hat.

More to come

hb

[Harry Babb]

Last night the temp was in the upper 50's/lower 60's.

The turnout for the Fish River boat parade was 28 boats......33 registered but we had a few no shows.

Night photography don't do any of our boats justice.....we had a great time.

Take a look....may have video later

[AndreF]

I see you looking astern, is that because you can't see ahead?
LOL- Great!

[Harry Babb]

We were all laughing about visibility last night.

My daughter and her family were in the boat in front of me. Angie and Chris had a BIG STAR displayed above the helm....I told the that I felt like a Wise man......following the "STAR of BETHLEHEM"

At one point in the parade Angie turned off the Lighted Star......I thought they had electrical problems.....so I called them on the phone......she quickly informed me that it was a planned outage.....for a PEE break! ! ! Took an hour and fourtyfive minutes to come up the river.

All of the parade participants received a $100 gift certificate at Big Daddys Restruant......Bid Daddys sponsered the parade. The winner with the Best Decorations received a $500 cash prize.

No......not me.......I once again suffered the "Agony of Defeat"

hb

[Tony Meola]

Harry

Looks pretty cool. A lot of work, but a night to remember. The grand kids will always talk about it.